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Void that matters

2011-07-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

Today will be one day i definitely will not forget, in times in life, there are moments that is just you understand values and facts that you dont ever comprehend before and during this times, we call it an enlightment, but to me, all it does is fill me with more questions and more doubts, the chaos is beginning to start spurring all around, there are things i had decided to not care anymore, and the list just keeps piling up and i am starting to feel that again, the insanity that fills me, this hypocrisy, the naivety, is it me or it just keeps bull shitting in my face. Cant wait for the time to come, the time engulf me in shades of gray and eternal vigilance, waiting for the time to come ... ...

"You could cut the ties with all the lies you've living in"

2010-02-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

today was a day which reminds me of why and what i seek, my answer, my reason, i just wish to go right now, pity theres no door leading there right now available for me, if it were up to me, and solely me, i would have been gone by now, haiz, im freaking emo? please in the past, yea, but not now, now all i just want is to reach my dream, reach my goal, go nuts and crazy, with no one holding me back, no one ... ..., how i wish those words can be expressed, but right now, they have to find it for themselves. coz it is something earned, or its just plain old worthless, like very well me

2010-01-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since i blogged,
i finally know what i want, but i don't know how to get it,

recently, a surprise is coming up, but then i was hoping to organise the surprise with a team, instead found myself trying only, because "i'm busy", because "ps lar, MIA", crap crap all crap,
originally wanted to organise something out of the box, something so fun, yet in the all, the only way to succeed is doing it all myself, so sick of reasons, so irritated by crap,
maybe it was just me going silly, thought that i could change people, make a impact,
maybe i was just wrong

closing to the end, yet so many things left for just me to do, as either the rest are unable to help or is mia, i dunno in the end, what can i or should say.

just sick of singapore,
i want to...
i want to... ...
i want to get out.

2009-05-28T01:19:00.000-07:00

the wish to be more and more keeps getting stronger ... ...

2009-05-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

Early, tired and sleepy, lol,

the weekend to today is tiring,
last week i had to adjust to school life again,
its been so long i had to study classicals via normal school days due to TEP,
now it seems off to just start studying back again,
then on saturday, had camp trial,
it was overall quite fun, met alot of new people
and a bunch of us people went to kfc at sunday after the camp trial,
we ate and crapped, then went to play left 4 dead,
thomas and i were noob, we kinda got thrashed by other people alot,
then went to hawker centre to eat.
Then, yesterday, after school,
went to accompany thomas and treeza for dinner at town,
then headed to cathay ben and jerry,
then walked again to cineleisure to watch movie, Friday the 13th,
Bao Xiang joined us while we were playing pool to wait for the movie time,
OMG,
that show was freaking shocking,
lol, after that, thomas and i cabbed home after that while bao xiang and treeza went on to watch horsemen.

Also, lately while midst of this, something changed, dont know what is it yet, it just felt different

Anyway,
anticipating for sentosa this saturday

2009-04-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

this will be a short one, i have been thinking for awhile to let my thoughts go straight lately within these 2 days, made me think straight, letting me know that i should throw away the thoughts i have now but i cant seem to do that, everytime i am not doing something it just comes back again, i dont know whether it is good anot, just kinda makes me want ta just ......, haiz, but i also found that i am able to look at things more clearly lately and that i am more to myself more i guess, lol, also dont know how to explain

anyway, went to kai ling's chalet bbq on wednesday, no offence but it was abit boring, then tonight, went lot 1 and watched 17 again with thomas and xing fong, lol long time never chat with xingfong, when i saw him, i was abit shocked, he had changed alot and we kinda catch up on some stuff, makes me thinking i am lagging behind again, lol sounds idiotic, but anyway thrashed him at one of the arcade game makes me feel happy, haha, after the movie, xing fong went to find his friends while thomas and i went to jonathan's house and went for the steamboat there, haiz, i thought will be at least able to pray awhile even though i was late, but alas it was fun, later thomas left and we went down to play ultimate frisbee, lol ended at midnight coz of some people calling the police, lol
now and finally,
tml.
i will be going sentosa again, will be kinda fun and tire myself out again,
gotta, gotta, gotta lose weight,
trimming in progress ... ...

2009-04-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

sleepy, tired and shag, yet awake to do stuffs,

Have been very busy lately, not enough time to sleep, on thursday i went to watch movie KNOWING with the cck guys, long time never hang out with them and it makes me miss cg and church even more, went with them to watch midnight movie, the movie to me was like crappy and that at the end it just made me laugh out loud 3 times coz the funny, lame ending, then after that we slacked at macdonnald for awhile, the rest of the guys were eating except for me coz trying to cut down on food intake and supper, we slacked and chit chat awhile before heading home, by the time i reached home, it was around 3 and i watched the beauty and the geeks again till 5 before sleep,

Then on friday i woke at 9.30, was like hoping to get ready and wanted to ask yx to go his hse and k awhile before going down to celebrate his last "dinner"
lol
then after that i went home, wanted to get some drink at 7 eleven when i heard a voice calling me, but i was so tired so i dint bother to turn and confirm, then after that while i was reaching home, K.U sms me asked me what i was doing late at night, then i called him to find out that oh yeah that day was good friday and he came back from army one day earlier due to that, i went to his hse and we chatted about stuffs till aroun 2.30 then i went home and slept,

On sat, the sentosa outing was cancelled and changed to going to town, met thomas at 12 then went to somerset to meet seb, we hang out, they played pool, we watched movie and then went window shopping, found a few shop styles that i really quite like, but thomas dint found anything he wanted as he was looking for a formal wear and a sandal, then went to the pub, the balcony, dint had anything to do there, so we decided to change the area to seb's friend's mother's pub, went there to find seb's friends, we were there playing dices, i lost alot coz of that thomas who kept on opening up the dices and made me drink, and we were there singing songs and etc, i sang a song very badly, and they dint tell me while i was singing, so i was like so sad over it, coz i knew that i could really sing this song. then after that, we split up, and thomas and i walked from the far end of orchard to far east to taker NR3 there as the bus route there is quicker, then, we reached home around 3, i was totally crashed on to the bed.

Then had to wake up at 6 to prepare for today !!! SENTOSA OUTING.YEA !!!
we all gathered around 10.30, and coz thosmas and chee hong dint eat breakfast so we went carls jr, then by the time we reached sentosa, it was around 12, also for today it was lucky that the sun was not shining super brightly like last week, we played volleyball the whole day, met alot of new friends there, so it was like great, at the end of the day, i was like so happy coz the rest said that i had become the most black out of all of them haha:D, so this week is fufilling for me and great, hope that next sentosa outing next week would be even more fun :D

2009-04-04T08:04:00.001-07:00

today went to sentosa to play, many things happened and it kinda got abit boring, but alas it was still fun hanging out, when i came back then i noticed that tanned skin of mine, also during the afternoon watched a movie with the guys called 12 rounds, well it was interesting i guess then hang around at vivo awhile to shop, tired and shag,

haiz also really wanted to make friends with someone but guess i was too idiotic already, so sad case for me then,

anyway alot of people keep shooting me that i have been saying this for a very long time, i gonna trim down, the more the dont believe the more i wanna prove it to them that this time i am serious, i have seen some people who have already been hard at work in life, just watching them makes me feel like i have really been lagging behind, like what i have doing the past few years, although slowly but i will change, dunno what i gonna be but at least for now, i know what i have to do, lol gosh i sound really like a kid, and also, i really think i am just a worthless good for nothing right now, so i will change no matter what, also with this change i put in a prayer and hope that it comes true,

so God, see this through, i dunno that whether this might be a 3 minute attitude or maybe more, but at least i am gonna try, take my 1st step out, i will keep on learning whatever i can, for everything you choose comes a opportunity

what to do, what to do being the idiot as i am

2009-03-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

lol
hahahahahahahahahaha
muahahahhahaahaha muahahahahhahaha muahahahahahahahahahah
lol

yesterday and today, my mood have been very good, great gosh, lol i mean like been singing songs non stop , haiz my voice aint that nice compared to the rest of my friends , haiz, lol gotta make my voice more nicer, lol i lately been addicted to songs, waaaaa, lol oso wanna go ktv also,

lol

the weekend i had to work as a part time coordinator, although i had been scolded non stop, but oh well, i got to know more people, the people i worked with are very nice,
lol haha then monday, we had started to do the project and that its going quite smoothly i think
...

And oh yea i also found out lately whats a 180 degree change of attitude, i mean its really scary and freaky, lol dunno what to say also about it lol, and coming up this week i have been wondering whether i should go for the part time work at town, being a coordinator, i do seriously need the cash, but the job is only good if like a bunch of friends worked together so we can slack at town after the preparation of booth then come back later clear up the booth, hmmm, if my friends are going then i will go as well, if they are not, then it will be considered

2009-03-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

my tep is coming to a end and year 3 is coming very soon, 2 weeks more to end of classical, cant believe that tep change my life, also that now im nt sure how to face year 3 now as yr 3 is sooo stressful, and pray that God continue to bless me, OH !!!! i so miss my cg ppl so miss church waaaaaaaa i so misss seriously miss them

Also,today worked as a coordinator at turf city and FANNY !!!!!! you know how ulu that place is anot, i go there like so far sia, its deep deep inside and like there still sometimes zero network connection sia, and the shopping mall is not a shopping mall lar !!! so small and like nothing to do there soooooooooo bored !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but met the promoter whos working with me, her names Esther, shes quite nice and sociable, argh we 2 like nothing there to do just chat chat, then cilent come ask me to leave coz tot i was her friend lol hahaz:D
oh yea PS: the toilet is very far as well

2009-02-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

today went to celebrate shu yan birthday,

was quite fun at the start, until where i started to become sian coz of their shooting, zzz,
i mean repetitive shooting from the start till the end made me abit irritated,
and like this whole week i wasnt feeling really up to the mood,
was planning not to go just to not ruin the mood but still just i did,
so when i did went, was hoping that it would be a really fun night, but to no avail,
been thinking about lots of stuff lately and dint really feel that good,

also,
is it that simple life is actually very hard to achieve?
is it in reality, dreams should just stay as dreams?
is it simple aint a virtue but a complicity?

haiz, haiz, haiz,
just very confused right now

2009-02-09T02:59:00.000-08:00

Long time never blog liao,
today mood abit sian sia
haiz, nvm
anyway
gonna update stuff starting from New year countdown

31/12/08

Hock, Thomas and me went to Ashley house for countdown,
had buffet !!! lol
then after that we crapped,
watched a horror movie which is abit disgusting coz the of the gore scenes.
After that,
Hock and his friends left, leaving me , Thomas, Ashley and her cousin, Lily
Randomly went to Jurong Point NTUC ,
then after that when we went in, the people was all staring at us as we went there around 3+AM !!!! lol !!!
Then, we went mad, taking pictures of everything and anything, haha it was haywire. Below are some pictures

lol !!!!!

the rest abit lazy to update ... ...

EMRS Graduation

2008-12-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

lol haven been updating my blog haha , guess have been busy and forgotten to blog already

lol anyway, recent updates,
i just graduated from EMRS, my whole life in EMRS and i dint even get to post pics from there,
haiz nvm dint like the pics i was in anyway lol hahaz:D i looked ugly lol
anyway, my whole EMRS life have really taught me alot,
really alot lol, i learned alot of things there,how worklife would be and etc, though i hope that next time in work life it would be more fun lol hahaz:D
the slacking times too much liao, hoped to have more stuff to do while having fun as well, lol though it looked dim right now,
Also, last friday after EMRS graduation, last day of EMRS, i went to sokwen class bbq,
have a great time there, lol drank red wine that day, or kana got saboed to drink red wine, we play the 5, 10, 15 game i keep on kana saboed by the girls, lol zzz
then hor, sokwen kip buying red wine back and then keep playing and kip losing lol, until last round, played with minami then she kip kana saboed by me to drink lol until everyone there tink she drunk lol i oso dunno whether she drunk anotz hahaz:d lucky got one guy sent her home or i die liao hahaz:D
anyway updates around there liao haha

EMRS

2008-10-28T22:01:00.003-07:00

lol haiz no pics no pics no pics, sianzzz, haiz getting abit sian at EMRS, haiz quick let a levels be over so i can use my flexi leaves, i need a break from some stuff in school sia lol haiz, lol hahaz:d go kbox relieve stress lol hahaz:D liang jun they all say want go kbox this week lehz but i abit pok lol, no sure if wna organise oso lol hahaz:D

EMRS

2008-10-28T22:01:00.002-07:00

EMRS

2008-10-28T22:01:00.001-07:00

2008-10-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

You Are 84% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood.

Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious.

You're excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker.

You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery.

You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts.

Rules, restrictions, and limit don't really work for you.

You have to do things your own way, and you can't be bothered to explain yourself.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you save for a rainy day.

You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.

In fights, you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out.

A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your Observation Skills Get A B+

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)

And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

1st wk 2nd start

2008-10-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

lolz, cant upload pics for mini road show on thursday, coz shermin still haven send pics haiz so slow, next time better self take than quicker sia lol, thursday roadshow to be updated, oh yea the training about the job i finished half liaoz, zzz haiz so slow, want to get start asap sia lol hahaz:D

2008-10-13T16:21:00.001-07:00

lol back from my 1st day of my tep, lol damn lots of fun sia hahaz:D, got to know my teammates of the EMRS, lol if i rmb correctly, they are bob, derrick, natalia, shu wen, dhurga, corrine and sherwin, lol ps if i rmb any thing wrongly lol hahaz:D the classes in the morning, so boring but the afternoon was so fun, lol hahaz:D when it came to the time where we have the team meeting, we started abit crapping sef intro and etc, lol corrine kept calling me flirt zzz, lol and sherwin kana tio leader, lol ps kinda kana sabo though she did said that she dont mind if it helps her in her mark, lol haha, then after that, lecture on biz ethics, lol biz ethics damn joke lol hlaf an hr do nth coz lecture hall com spoil lol, then after that she say she wanted to change lecture room, lol then short the whole lecture into half an hour lol haha, so tight, then last hr we went bk to the meeting room, lol took pics and played some ice breakers, lol haha excited to see bob tomorrow go do stunt lol hahaz:D

first post & birthday

2008-10-09T04:03:00.002-07:00

my first post ever since the do over of my blog, wanted to remake since last year but lazy to do so, anyway, tomorrow is my birthday, supposedly to go out and kbox with my friends , but alas couldnt do so in the end, haiz, guess i have ta find someone else, thinking of getting contacts lens tomorrow also, lol,